the power of a mother's love

went to visit my mother last week. good news is, she's home, discharged from the hospital. alhamdulillah. she's stable. better condition but she's still the same person.... quiet and downhearted. i know, i can tell. sigh.. well i tried to talk to her, as per advised by the doctor. she's lonely and sad but she can't tell. she can't tell because she can't talk. she can't talk because she had tracheostomy operation last few months. so now she has this breathing tube made in her throat to help her breathing well without the help of the ventilator and also caused her inability to eat and speak. 

OK. so, while giving her a massage, i came out with this conversation:

Me: mak... lenguh kaki ka?
Mom: *she nodded her head*
Me: ok... atie urut na.. emm atie baca Al-Fatihah boleh tak? kuat-kuat.
Mom: "she nodded immediately* 
Me: *massaging and reciting al-fatihah*
Me: ok.. atie baca "qulhuallah" nak? 
Mom: *staring at the wall* 
Me: *done reciting* emmm atie selawat nak?
Mom: * nodded her head*
Me: * selawat*

ok this time around, i was a bit surprised. i saw this..

Mom: *she recited along with her lips*
Me: *I kept reciting, i was STUNNED and my eyes began to fill with tears....*
Mom: *her eyes were also teary a bit..*

OK. i was terribly saddened by her actions. How i wish mom... how i wish you could be that person again.. the bubbly and cheerful mom.. Remember you taught me to recite surah Yassin, mom? You would scold me if I got it wrong.. you corrected my solat.. you recited surah Yassin to me when i was sick to death 5 years ago.. you bathed me and fed me. I thought i was going to die.. but you convinced me that I wouldn't. and i was very determined that i had to hold on.. i had to keep strong. and... i survived. 

And mom.. you were not good at throwing words. at throwing words of encouragement. but hey, i understood each of them. because your actions spoke louder. same goes to me, mom... i may not be able to put all those sweet words together but i can show you how.. just like how you did to me. you are a great mother, indeed. i hope i'm a great daughter too..

i love you mom. from the bottom of my heart, for sure. 

till then,
Atie